"The One The Only The Truly Incomparable Leland Stanford Junior University Marching Band!" - and Why I Hate Them

The Stanford Marching Band members do not wear uniforms.

It takes 5 minutes to introduce them (see post title).

They do not march.

They do not have very many members.

And, apparently, they do not think.

A little research (thanks, Wikipedia) has shown me that the band has given several questionable performances, including one at Notre Dame in which the band director dressed in a nun costume and conducted the band with a cross instead of a baton, and another at a game against BYU in which some female members dressed in wedding veils and the band director proposed to each one in turn, while the announcer referred to marriage as "the sacred bond that exists between a man and a woman...and a woman...and a woman...and a woman."

What the heck?! Who - exactly - thought that was funny?

Probably the same people that thought their halftime show last Saturday was funny.

I am not - in any way, shape or form - affiliated with those people.

The entire halftime show was one big long insult directed at a school - my school.

They poked fun at everything from the fact that ASU did not give President Obama an honorary degree (personally, I'm glad they didn't), to the fact that no astronauts have graduated from ASU, to ASU's graduation rate. And then they pointed out that everything ASU lacked, Stanford has had. Oh, and they mentioned that at least one good thing going for the school is the fact that they can afford beer.

Are you freaking kidding me?

Stanford is supposed to be one of the best schools in the country. I'm sure they are one of the best schools in the country. Reputations like theirs don't just spring out of nowhere.

I would never say that ASU is a better academic institution than Stanford. That's just not a viable claim.

But that does NOT give Stanford the right to point out what they think is wrong with our school and basically call it a school for morons, underachievers, and golfers (but not Tiger Woods).

I mean seriously - who does that?

What group - especially a group who is supposed to represent the entire school - would stoop to taunting, jeering, and degrading another school that is visiting for a football game?

If you think you're awesome, keep it to yourself. Otherwise, you're going to get another reputation - that of a stuck-up university that goes out of their way to point out any statistics that make them better than others.

Sure, you can tell me it was all fun and games - and hey, maybe it was. I can laugh at myself - really, I can. I can take jokes that are made in good nature - whether they are directed at me, my family, my lifestyle, whatever. And maybe no one at Stanford actually thinks this way about ASU, apart from whoever writes the ridiculous band shows.

But then why not crack down on whoever writes the ridiculous band shows? It really should be done, before this joke of a marching band completely embarrasses an otherwise entirely respectable university.

At least, that's my two cents. It had to be said.

If you want to read the entire transcript of the halftime show, click here.

But I wouldn't blame you if you just stayed far away.