It's not easy to admit; it's pretty embarrassing, actually. But we all have things we struggle with, right? Somebody say "right." Right.
Well, right now, I'm struggling with my confidence. In kind of a bad way. No, not in a "depressed" way. I'm not in therapy or anything (not that that's a bad thing; I'm just saying I'm not at that point). But it is affecting my happiness. On a daily basis. It's also morphing into other issues - issues about loving and trusting others. How can I love others when I'm constantly comparing myself to them and being jealous of their lives, talents, personalities, etc.? And how can I trust others when I think that they must be always looking down on me (because I deserve it) and are therefore never acting out of friendship or love? It's been something of a slippery slope, and I could see it getting much worse without some action.
So I'm taking some action. I'm reading a book on the subject; I'm constantly reminding myself that I am in charge of my happiness; I'm recognizing and documenting small victories and things I "do right" every day; I'm trying to recognize that when things don't go perfectly, it's not necessarily because of something I did wrong. And I'm trying to be aware of my strengths, which is where this post comes in.
Here's what I figure: it's one thing to say to myself, "I guess I'm not so bad at (blank)." It's quite another to proclaim what I like about myself to the world. Somehow, it makes it seem more like I actually feel this way, like I'm confident enough to not only recognize my strengths, but to tell you about them. It makes my confidence seem real. And, well... I really need it to be real.
So, in an effort to realize (understand) -- and realize (make real) -- my confidence, here's a little list of some things I like about myself.
In no particular order:
-I'm a good listener. Dallin often says I missed my calling as a therapist, and he might be right. I enjoy listening to people - letting them express themselves, learning about them, and, if possible, helping them out just a little bit. I think my listening skills have actually helped me learn a lot about people in general, which has made me more empathetic, which I hear is a good thing.
-I'm patient. Not Job-esque or anything, but I'm generally pretty patient, with people and situations.
-I'm smart. Or maybe well-educated. Or does realizing that those are two different things make me smart, so I should stick with that? Hm. Anyway, I like to learn, and I like to think. Result: I don't think I'm an idiot. Unless, you know, chemistry is involved.
-I'm good with money. I don't think I'm a cheapskate, but if something is a want, rather than a need, I have to want it really, really badly to justify actually buying it. I think I'm smart and realistic with our money; I don't hoard it, but I'd say I'm definitely more frugal than frivolous. I think I have a good balance, and I like it.
-My weight. Am I allowed to say this? It seems very taboo nowadays to actually like how much you weigh. I hope it doesn't rub anyone the wrong way, but if I had to choose one thing I liked about my physical appearance (and I kinda feel like I do for the purposes of this post), it would probably be my weight. Not my body - there are plenty of things I don't like about that. But I'm at a healthy weight and I feel good about that.
__________________________________________________________________________________________
Well, there they are. A few things I like about myself. I realize that I'm by no means perfect at these things, but I think they are characteristics that I have that can help me become a better, more confident person. And I also think that recognizing them is a good start.
Thanks for hearing me out, friends. This was actually a really difficult post to write and I'm just a little bit proud of myself for actually writing it. And you know what? Being a little bit proud of myself feels good.
I'd love to hear the things that you guys like about yourselves. Write them down, why don't ya? Forget about your weaknesses for a moment, and just show yourself some love. Deal? Deal.
Here's what I figure: it's one thing to say to myself, "I guess I'm not so bad at (blank)." It's quite another to proclaim what I like about myself to the world. Somehow, it makes it seem more like I actually feel this way, like I'm confident enough to not only recognize my strengths, but to tell you about them. It makes my confidence seem real. And, well... I really need it to be real.
So, in an effort to realize (understand) -- and realize (make real) -- my confidence, here's a little list of some things I like about myself.
In no particular order:
-I'm a good listener. Dallin often says I missed my calling as a therapist, and he might be right. I enjoy listening to people - letting them express themselves, learning about them, and, if possible, helping them out just a little bit. I think my listening skills have actually helped me learn a lot about people in general, which has made me more empathetic, which I hear is a good thing.
-I'm patient. Not Job-esque or anything, but I'm generally pretty patient, with people and situations.
-I'm smart. Or maybe well-educated. Or does realizing that those are two different things make me smart, so I should stick with that? Hm. Anyway, I like to learn, and I like to think. Result: I don't think I'm an idiot. Unless, you know, chemistry is involved.
-I'm good with money. I don't think I'm a cheapskate, but if something is a want, rather than a need, I have to want it really, really badly to justify actually buying it. I think I'm smart and realistic with our money; I don't hoard it, but I'd say I'm definitely more frugal than frivolous. I think I have a good balance, and I like it.
-My weight. Am I allowed to say this? It seems very taboo nowadays to actually like how much you weigh. I hope it doesn't rub anyone the wrong way, but if I had to choose one thing I liked about my physical appearance (and I kinda feel like I do for the purposes of this post), it would probably be my weight. Not my body - there are plenty of things I don't like about that. But I'm at a healthy weight and I feel good about that.
__________________________________________________________________________________________
Well, there they are. A few things I like about myself. I realize that I'm by no means perfect at these things, but I think they are characteristics that I have that can help me become a better, more confident person. And I also think that recognizing them is a good start.
Thanks for hearing me out, friends. This was actually a really difficult post to write and I'm just a little bit proud of myself for actually writing it. And you know what? Being a little bit proud of myself feels good.
(a picture of me being proud)