I'm in a lull. A hull of a lull.
It would almost be hard to tell you what I'm up to these days, because I'm simply up to so freakin little.
I used to have a million things to do every day. I used to work for 8 hours, have full-time, on- campus school, have a group of friends that lived close by that I could hang out with, and have this one amazing boy that I didn't live with that I just HAD to be around all the time.
Busy days these days constitute having homework and/or laundry.
I mean, let's face it: two people do not make for a very messy house, so there is only so much I can clean. We don't exactly have a lot of moo-lah for me to go shopping for more house/baby decor/stuff. My current condition restricts any active activities I could be doing. There just isn't a lot for me to do.
I should probably be soaking this in like a good bubble bath, since once the baby comes I'll probably be nice and swamped and sleepless and such.
But you know what? I feel totally like, worthless right now. Like a worthless lump. Because my days are spent sleeping in, checking out millions of baby things that I'm never going to buy online, and playing minesweeper on my phone. I might shower. I might take a couple snack "breaks." I might read a little bit (although most of the time, reading makes me feel lazy too). Homework days are Mondays and Thursdays, so I do that on those days.
But mostly, I just feel really bored and really lame.
It's not like I really want a job, per say. I completely loved my job at the school over the summer, but with starting school myself, and the impending period of time that I'll be baby-bound, it's probably best that I'm not employed full-time at the moment. I'm still technically "employed" at American Eagle...at least, I think I am...but I haven't worked there in...a looooong time. And I'm pretty much to the point where a shift would be rather uncomfortable now (5-8 hours straight on my feet? Yeah, no gracias).
This problem is compounded by the fact that I have the most amazing, busy, hardworking husband ever. Yeah, ever. He gets up super early every morning so he can be done with everything he has to get done (has to get done) so he can have ample time to spend with me before he collapses from exhaustion. He works so freakin hard to provide for us. I just feel like I'm not doing my part.
And it makes me feel really, really guilty. He can usually talk for quite a while about all the things he did that day, and when it comes to my turn...I, quite literally, have nothing to say.
Which then makes me want to cry.
I need something GOOD and WORTHWHILE to do. I guess it's not like all my craigslisting hasn't paid off (I've saved us a good chunk of cash on some good baby stuff, thanks very much), but having nothing else to do makes me feel like a lazy slob. A fat, lazy slob, in fact.
I get to go visiting teaching today (YES!). But then what? I mean, that excitement really only happens once a month.
Do I just wait out my slump until baby gets here? Does anyone have a suggestion for a good hobby-type thing that also happens to not cost any money?
Maybe I'll just blog...a lot. You'd love that, wouldn't you?
Yeah, I thought so.