Wednesday, April 25, 2012

What I Like About Me

Here's the thing: I've kind of been struggling lately.

It's not easy to admit; it's pretty embarrassing, actually. But we all have things we struggle with, right? Somebody say "right." Right.

Well, right now, I'm struggling with my confidence. In kind of a bad way. No, not in a "depressed" way. I'm not in therapy or anything (not that that's a bad thing; I'm just saying I'm not at that point). But it is affecting my happiness. On a daily basis. It's also morphing into other issues - issues about loving and trusting others. How can I love others when I'm constantly comparing myself to them and being jealous of their lives, talents, personalities, etc.? And how can I trust others when I think that they must be always looking down on me (because I deserve it) and are therefore never acting out of friendship or love? It's been something of a slippery slope, and I could see it getting much worse without some action. 

So I'm taking some action. I'm reading a book on the subject; I'm constantly reminding myself that I am in charge of my happiness; I'm recognizing and documenting small victories and things I "do right" every day; I'm trying to recognize that when things don't go perfectly, it's not necessarily because of something I did wrong. And I'm trying to be aware of my strengths, which is where this post comes in.

Here's what I figure: it's one thing to say to myself, "I guess I'm not so bad at (blank)." It's quite another to proclaim what I like about myself to the world. Somehow, it makes it seem more like I actually feel this way, like I'm confident enough to not only recognize my strengths, but to tell you about them. It makes my confidence seem real. And, well... I really need it to be real.

So, in an effort to realize (understand) -- and realize (make real) -- my confidence, here's a little list of some things I like about myself.

In no particular order:

-I'm a good listener. Dallin often says I missed my calling as a therapist, and he might be right. I enjoy listening to people - letting them express themselves, learning about them, and, if possible, helping them out just a little bit. I think my listening skills have actually helped me learn a lot about people in general, which has made me more empathetic, which I hear is a good thing.

-I'm patient. Not Job-esque or anything, but I'm generally pretty patient, with people and situations.

-I'm smart. Or maybe well-educated. Or does realizing that those are two different things make me smart, so I should stick with that? Hm. Anyway, I like to learn, and I like to think. Result: I don't think I'm an idiot. Unless, you know, chemistry is involved.

-I'm good with money. I don't think I'm a cheapskate, but if something is a want, rather than a need, I have to want it really, really badly to justify actually buying it. I think I'm smart and realistic with our money; I don't hoard it, but I'd say I'm definitely more frugal than frivolous. I think I have a good balance, and I like it.

-My weight. Am I allowed to say this? It seems very taboo nowadays to actually like how much you weigh. I hope it doesn't rub anyone the wrong way, but if I had to choose one thing I liked about my physical appearance (and I kinda feel like I do for the purposes of this post), it would probably be my weight. Not my body - there are plenty of things I don't like about that. But I'm at a healthy weight and I feel good about that.


Well, there they are. A few things I like about myself. I realize that I'm by no means perfect at these things, but I think they are characteristics that I have that can help me become a better, more confident person. And I also think that recognizing them is a good start.

Thanks for hearing me out, friends. This was actually a really difficult post to write and I'm just a little bit proud of myself for actually writing it. And you know what? Being a little bit proud of myself feels good.

i have confidence
(a picture of me being proud)

I'd love to hear the things that you guys like about yourselves. Write them down, why don't ya? Forget about your weaknesses for a moment, and just show yourself some love. Deal? Deal.