Friday, July 17, 2015

Ever have one of those days...

...when you have the ambition but not the focus?

...when you have the to-do list that you just can't seem to get done?

...when all you can think about is getting your house ready for a new baby (#nesting) but you've been contracting every 5 minutes for a while now and it's just sucking the energy out of you?

...when your three-year-old tells you your bum is probably too big for the toilet?

...when you simultaneously feel ravenously hungry but also sick to your stomach (just enough that you can't think of anything that you actually want to eat)?

...when your feet and your hands are still swelling despite all the water you've been forcing yourself to drink (reminder: you hate drinking water)?

...when your kids yell for you until you waddle painfully come downstairs and all they wanted was for you to move the box of Cheerios? Like, just move it to the other side of the table?

...when you cry actual, streaming down your cheeks tears for all of the following reasons:

  • you ate the last piece of chocolate -- the LAST PIECE OF CHOCOLATE (other than the chocolate chips, but the chocolate chips just aren't cutting it lately)
  • you're too hot to wear a sweatshirt and a sweatshirt sounds incredibly comfortable
  • you finally settle on wearing a comfy Mickey Mouse shirt and it just makes you miss Disneyland so freaking much
  • you read "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom" to your kids at bedtime and the line "Will there be enough room?" makes you think about how there can't possibly be enough room in your home, heart, or washing machine for another baby, and yet here she comes!
  • you have to pee. Again.
  • no reason at all. Seriously.
(Side confession: I have no idea how to punctuate any of the above. It's all one big question...but where does the question mark go? Let's put it here: ?. There.)

...when you see an Instagram post by a complete stranger whom you totally admire, and even though she's talking about hard stuff she's going through, it makes you feel like you could never possibly be that cool/successful/impactful?

...when the above sends you into a "What am I doing with my life?" sort of downward spiral, and the answer you come up with is "I'm having kids. I'm being a mom." and you know that that should make you feel better, but right now it just kind of doesn't? And then that makes you feel guilty?

This all sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? These are reasons to laugh/plan/rest/think/grow, not dissolve into a hopeless puddle with a nose that's too stuffed up to even blow properly.

Add to all this the fact that my big goal right now is positivity, and the whole thing becomes particularly laughable, because #fail. Or, to be slightly more positive about it, #failfortoday. 

I guess the thing is, some days are just like this. Some days just send your common sense packing and your hormones to the Tower of Terror and your kids to bed as early as possible.

But that day is over. That day was yesterday. Today, I had a cupcake for breakfast (bless you, Jenna). Today, I'm going to wear a dress and get my hair colored. And I'm buying some chocolate. And I'm going to try my hardest to drink a blasted gallon of water (20 oz down as I'm writing this!). And I'm going to exercise. And I'm going to hug my babies when they wake up, and plan on saying "I love you" to each of them, maybe more than once. And hopefully I'm going to take a minute to just sit and rest my hand on this beautiful belly and think about my little girl in there and about how, if I just calm down and think about it, there really is enough room for her everywhere. 

Yes, today will be one of those days.


  1. Oh Katie, I have been there on those crazy days of pregnancy! You are going to do great with it all!! Can we please have your girls over to play today??! My boys would love it! I will text you!

    1. Yeah, I feel like I might have a couple more days like this in my future...probably (and maybe even especially!) after the baby comes. A playdate sometime would be wonderful!

  2. God bless you Katie. Seriously.

    1. And you, friend, for being so good at validating my ramblings with comments. :) Love ya!

  3. I loved reading this. No body can put thoughts and feeling into words the way you do. It's so easy to relate. But besides your mad skills in the writing department, I admire you in lots of other ways too. Thanks for being someone to look up to.

    1. Thank you, Blair! Although... I'm pretty sure you are SuperMom, and I don't deserve your admiration. :) Also, you commenting just reminded me that you texted me yesterday. #doh! Response (finally) comin' at ya!

  4. Oh how I wish I could slap this in my own journal and call it mine. You have such a talent. Here's to new days, a fresh start, and when things get tough know that it OK.

  5. This is just so perfect. Just so so perfect.

    Most of mine right now would have to do with pregnancy related insomnia/sleep problems and crying because your husband said he was tired... Or because you thought about how nice it would be to sleep while your children are all awake...

    You got this!!!

    1. Ah, sleep. The impossible dream. :) Hang in there, girl!


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